Schrodinger's Hand

When you talk to someone about something important or heated, the main point is to tell them your opinion and to hear theirs. In the case of politics, abortion, or other controversial topics, many people forget the second half. They care so much about their opinion and would never think of changing it, so why should they hear what anyone else has to say?

Changing your opinion publicly is so much more difficult than changing it privately. You can think what you want and change intermittently based on any new information you gain. Once you make your opinion public, however, changing it publicly makes you seem like you don't know what you want or, even worse, what you are talking about in the first place.

Besides that, you want to be a consistent person. You want to know who you are and what you like and you probably don't like change. When you commit to something, you commit to it fully. Once it is out in the open, you truly believe it, whether or not you would have changed your mind about it given new information later. You are set in your ways unintentionally by making your opinion known.

This being the case, I can't help but be reminded of Schrodinger's Cat. You don't know whether it is alive or dead until you look at it. Similarly, you don't know someone's opinion of something until they state it. It could be anything, but once they tell you, that's it. That's their opinion. Period. Some people don't like that your cat is still alive and so they will try their hardest to kill it, but it doesn't change the fact that it was alive. It was your opinion on the subject.

Before you talk to someone, you can have all the opinions you want, you can arrange your hand of cards in any way you wish. However, once you put your cards on the table, you can't change them again, that's cheating, right? Once you voice your opinion you can't easily change it again. You're stuck.

Why would you intentionally show your cards to someone and lock yourself into a certain way of being without provocation? Don't go around boasting about the opinions you hold without getting all the facts first. You can keep the cards and cat to yourself, but once someone else gets involved, you have to go all in.

Also they might kill your cat. There's some incentive.

#FamilyTherapist

I have decided what I want my career to be.
Family Therapist.
It fits with all my requirements etc of psychology, social psychology, helping people, etc.
I can help people work together and become a better functioning family etc.
I looked up some of the requirements for becoming a family therapist today.
>10years of school/training etc.
Then I have to actually work.
I am honestly fine with this.
I like school and learning about stuff, and helping people always makes you feel good.

On a completely different note, I would like to discuss the #hashtag twitter movement... thing...
It is one of the greatest things to come into text based communication since the emoticon.
In my humble opinion anyway.
It is almost an evolution of the emoticon.
Let me explain. Please note that I use the word text to describe any kind of text communication.

Emoticons serve to set the mood of a certain text in order to let the other person better infer your tone and meaning. Without emoticons we would have to explain our feelings constantly, and who wants to do that.

#hashtags allow you to set the mood of a text in a similar way. They can set the subject or be a punchline etc. It allows you to say a word without it actually being taken in as you having said it. Almost like body language or the hidden language I talked about once before on this blog.

Finally, non-verbal communication in a text only message. Who would have thought we would ever be able to do that.

#nonverbaltext

Personal Motivation (Personal entry)

What?
A personal entry on personal motivation on my personal blog?

The other day I inexplicably lost motivation to do anything with my life for several hours.
It confused me greatly, considering I had recently developed a mantra of sorts to attempt counteracting this.

-
Invictus
by William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me
Black as the pit from pole to pole
I thank whatever gods may be
for my unconquerable soul

In the fell clutch of cirsumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud
Under the bludgeoning of chance
My head is bloody but unbowed

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade
And yet the menace of the years
finds and shall find me unafraid

It matters not how straight the gate
How charged with punishment the scroll
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul
-

This is an inspiring poem for me.
I memorized it and repeat it whenever I need a boost of will power.
However, the other day, after talking with a friend about plans to go to japan,
I lost all sense of purpose.

If I am going to go to Japan soon, I cannot afford to go to college.
I will skip college until I get back?
I will skip Japan to go to college?

But then I thought, Why am I going to Japan in the first place?
I realized that one of the biggest reasons for me wanting to go was to test and improve my skill in the Japanese language.

I did not see the point. Why should I go if it is only for me?
Why then should I go to college? Since I am obviously doing it for myself alone.

What do I want from life?
That is the real question.

In this day and age, being born into such a profitable situation, I have everything I need to survive for as long as it takes for me to die. What, then, do I live for?

I am searching for a purpose, setting fires everywhere I go, can't avoid the burns.

Song lyrics, of all things, what have I done.

MOVING ON

I pruned everything from my life that I could not convince myself was definitely going to help me later on in life. No chance.

Guitar? stopped playing.
Movies and video games? please.
Japanese, however. That will always be something that can help me in life. No chance.

I've been studying Japanese religiously for some time now.
I still suck.
I am getting better, however.

I don't feel as if I've wasted time when I study Japanese.
Everything else just makes me feel bad.

TL;DR

Do only the things that will unquestionably help you in life in order to bring yourself out of the motivational dumps.

It's working somewhat well for me.

Impossible (to win) Situations

An Impossible Situation is a situation in which nothing the other party can do will be satisfactory to your desire.

A friend of mine sings alot, lets call him Adam. He sings in front of all of us, just nonchalantly, obviously expecting a comment of some kind. He's not bad at singing per se, and he has gotten better recently, but he is still a fair distance from random compliments. We have yet to comment on his singing at all.

Yet he continues, hoping for us to say... what exactly?

Obviously, telling the truth and saying he isn't as good as he apparently thinks he is isn't what he wants us to do.

Yet, if we compliment his singing, what then? What will he do? No compliment we can say will be what he wants, and even assuming it is, what happens next?

Does he continue singing for hopes of more compliments? No, that would be selfish etc.

Does he then stop singing after we complimented him? Perhaps, but then he might hold negative feelings thinking we expect him to sing.

Even if he does think we expect him to sing, that makes singing a chore, because it is for us now, instead of just himself.

In short, it becomes an awkward situation no matter what happens.

Nothing we can do can make this situation work. It's impossible. Therefore, Impossible Situation.

tl;dr dont expect people to do something if you dont know what you want them to do. honestly.

Unspoken (not body) Language

So think of a time when someone offered to do something for you.
Did they really want to do it? or did they feel obligated to offer?
How can you find out?

Proper social etiquette likely dictates you should  politely decline while giving them the possibility of helping you anyway.

"Oh, it's alright, I don't want to inconvenience you." or something like that.

The reason you do this is to give them complete control over whether or not they help you.
When they offer to do something, they are putting themselves on the line, they are putting their short term fate in your hands. By declining politely, like in the example, you let them off the hook.

They will reply something like "alright" or "are you sure?"
or
"no its no trouble really" or "come on, its fine"

The first two are him retracting his offer. Yes, even the are you sure one.
The second two are him overriding you presumed hesitation presumably because he genuinely wants to assist you.

Rule of thumb being;

POLITELY decline offers of assistance. If they INSIST, then you are good to, thank them for their offer and allow them to help you. If they do ANYTHING besides insist, even ask if you're sure, etc, you move on and deal with it alone. That is, assuming you don't want to inconvenience them... or if you're not desperate.

America's spirit animal is Pedobear

I was thinking earlier today about what is considered beautiful in america.

Everything is done to make you look younger, right?
Shaved hair everywhere except the head.
obviously skincare and makeup is meant to make you look  younger.

In france they dont shave, and we make fun.
But maybe they are just more okay with older women.

America is obsessed with youth, for better or worse.
the younger you look (while still being technically legal) the more attractive you are.

therefore, america is a pedophile.

maybe.

Its my birthday. the big 20

So.
Now that I am officially not a teenager anymore, I have to be more responsible.

That doesn't necessarily mean more mature, just more responsible.

Responsibility, to me, means being clean and organized in all areas of life.
Physical body and living space.
Scheduling both yourself and your life.

Keeping up with your lifestyle is immensely important.
No giving up because its too hard or because you are lazy.
Not anymore.
You have no excuse anymore.
You have to do it.

So.
I am currently working on becoming a responsible adult.
I get up early every day and take a shower and shave.
I do all the chores I am required to do and finish before I would have gotten up normally.
Then I practice guitar or study in whatever I want until I go to work.
After work I usually relax or play guitar until bedtime.
Then I ACTUALLY GO TO BED.
Finally.
Sleep for 6-8 hours every night.
Repeat.

I will become a better person every day for the rest of my life.
To me, that is responsibility.