What?
A personal entry on personal motivation on my personal blog?
The other day I inexplicably lost motivation to do anything with my life for several hours.
It confused me greatly, considering I had recently developed a mantra of sorts to attempt counteracting this.
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Invictus
by William Ernest Henley
Out of the night that covers me
Black as the pit from pole to pole
I thank whatever gods may be
for my unconquerable soul
In the fell clutch of cirsumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud
Under the bludgeoning of chance
My head is bloody but unbowed
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade
And yet the menace of the years
finds and shall find me unafraid
It matters not how straight the gate
How charged with punishment the scroll
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul
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This is an inspiring poem for me.
I memorized it and repeat it whenever I need a boost of will power.
However, the other day, after talking with a friend about plans to go to japan,
I lost all sense of purpose.
If I am going to go to Japan soon, I cannot afford to go to college.
I will skip college until I get back?
I will skip Japan to go to college?
But then I thought, Why am I going to Japan in the first place?
I realized that one of the biggest reasons for me wanting to go was to test and improve my skill in the Japanese language.
I did not see the point. Why should I go if it is only for me?
Why then should I go to college? Since I am obviously doing it for myself alone.
What do I want from life?
That is the real question.
In this day and age, being born into such a profitable situation, I have everything I need to survive for as long as it takes for me to die. What, then, do I live for?
I am searching for a purpose, setting fires everywhere I go, can't avoid the burns.
Song lyrics, of all things, what have I done.
MOVING ON
I pruned everything from my life that I could not convince myself was definitely going to help me later on in life. No chance.
Guitar? stopped playing.
Movies and video games? please.
Japanese, however. That will always be something that can help me in life. No chance.
I've been studying Japanese religiously for some time now.
I still suck.
I am getting better, however.
I don't feel as if I've wasted time when I study Japanese.
Everything else just makes me feel bad.
TL;DR
Do only the things that will unquestionably help you in life in order to bring yourself out of the motivational dumps.
It's working somewhat well for me.
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