Public Proposal

A friend of mine proposed to his girlfriend at the prom recently. Romantic? Perhaps, but lets explore the reasons for and against doing so. For this discussion we assume the man and woman are romantically involved, and do in fact enjoy each others company, etc etc.

First of all, proposing at a dance where everyone is having a great time has the potential to make the night even more memorable for everyone involved. True romance has occurred here today on the dance floor. We are suddenly privy to a moment supposedly meant for just the two of them, and that makes it a special moment for us too. Once the man actually proposes however, it is up to the girl to respond. ...as we all wait with baited breath.

Now in a private proposal, if she says yes or no, it is between them alone. If she says yes, then they can enjoy a wonderful moment likely accentuated with a kiss and perhaps punctuated by even more depending on the couple.  If she says no, then the man will inevitably ask why. Her decision to either answer him truthfully or not, or not answer at all, is entirely up to her. No social pressures immediately present themselves except from the proposer, and his intent is obvious.

In a public proposal other people will be witness to her reply, and in my friends case specifically, all of their close friends are watching as well. This adds layers of complexities that I would rather avoid in a proposal, personally. The girl will feel pressured by everyone witness to the proposal, indeed, how could she not, they are all waiting for her answer with baited breath. Whether she says yes or no directly affects her friends views of her, and in the case of prom, the general atmosphere of the entire party.

If she says yes publicly, there will likely be much jubilation, a kiss met with more cheers, and a wonderful moment felt by all involved. (Except perhaps the newly fiance'd girl.) She was obviously pressured to say yes because if she had said no, the exact opposite effect would have occurred.

If she had said no, there would be no jubilation. A chorus of, "Awwww, Why not?" and other such phrases would indubitably be voiced almost immediately after her answer. The crowd doesn't want the atmosphere of the party to be diminished any more than she does, however they are many, and she is one. She is the cause of the negatively charged atmosphere, and mob mentality takes over. Everyone will begin to dislike or even hate her, because she ruined a good time. No one except her closest friends, and the friends who warned her against her would be fiance, will come to her aid in this situation.

She will likely have to leave the room, feeling embarrassed, and perhaps even threatened, by the new situation presented to her. Again, only her closest friends will come to console her. Perhaps after a time her social status will return, but for that night at least, it is tainted. If she doesn't want that, she has to accept his proposal, however she truly feels about him.

In conclusion, proposing in public will likely give you a skewed answer compared to her true emotions. In public people will act differently than in private regardless of the situation. Leave the private things for private times.

TL;DR- DON'T PROPOSE IN PUBLIC, SHE MIGHT SAY YES JUST TO SAVE FACE.