So I want to liken social interaction to a game. A game that you start playing without knowing the rules. Some people are better at realizing what the rules are and are able to play very well. Other people cannot figure out why some people can do or say one thing and they cannot. It's all in the rules of the game.
Social interaction and relationships between people go hand in hand and without understanding of both of them you wont be able to go far in the world. There is a saying, It's not what you know, but who you know. I think this is definitely true. You can get a job somewhere much easier if you know someone who works there. You can become better friends with someone more quickly if you both have a friend in common who introduces you.
But what do you do when you don't have someone to help you? You have to play the game.
That is the purpose of this blog, to try and help people who cannot figure out the rules for themselves. I will be your person on the inside, but for every inside you ever wanted to get into. Yes, that one too perverts. It's all part of social interaction. If you can do it, then you win.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Teary Theory
I thought up a possible reason for why thinking of old ex girlfriends hurts inside. It's a little bit ridiculous and pompous, so I'm sure its not the only reason. Just a random thought. Its psychology shut up I can write it here.
So you think of an intimate moment with someone you can never be with again, you can never have that kind of moment with them again. It hurts you. It makes you cry or scream or something to get out the bad emotion. My stupid theory says that this is because you can never be the person you were when you were with them ever again. You have irrevocably changed.
and people dont like change, least of all changing themselves. You want to be the same person all the time, because thats trustworthy etc, I've talked previously about stability of self and things in a previous entry. When you are reminded that you are not as stable as you think yourself to be.
You arent what you think you are. and if you dont know who or what you are, then how can you be sure you know anything? It breaks you down at the core. and of course you attribute it to the person who the memory is based around, and you already have a convenient store of emotion for that person, it all just turns bad. THEY made you feel this way. It's THEIR fault. etc.
Theres also the more surface based abandonment issues and the loss of an emotional connection. Those were a bit more obvious so I didnt think about them as much.
Anyway, my theory may be crackpot, so let me know what you think.
So you think of an intimate moment with someone you can never be with again, you can never have that kind of moment with them again. It hurts you. It makes you cry or scream or something to get out the bad emotion. My stupid theory says that this is because you can never be the person you were when you were with them ever again. You have irrevocably changed.
and people dont like change, least of all changing themselves. You want to be the same person all the time, because thats trustworthy etc, I've talked previously about stability of self and things in a previous entry. When you are reminded that you are not as stable as you think yourself to be.
You arent what you think you are. and if you dont know who or what you are, then how can you be sure you know anything? It breaks you down at the core. and of course you attribute it to the person who the memory is based around, and you already have a convenient store of emotion for that person, it all just turns bad. THEY made you feel this way. It's THEIR fault. etc.
Theres also the more surface based abandonment issues and the loss of an emotional connection. Those were a bit more obvious so I didnt think about them as much.
Anyway, my theory may be crackpot, so let me know what you think.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Schrodinger's Hand
When you talk to someone about something important or heated, the main point is to tell them your opinion and to hear theirs. In the case of politics, abortion, or other controversial topics, many people forget the second half. They care so much about their opinion and would never think of changing it, so why should they hear what anyone else has to say?
Changing your opinion publicly is so much more difficult than changing it privately. You can think what you want and change intermittently based on any new information you gain. Once you make your opinion public, however, changing it publicly makes you seem like you don't know what you want or, even worse, what you are talking about in the first place.
Besides that, you want to be a consistent person. You want to know who you are and what you like and you probably don't like change. When you commit to something, you commit to it fully. Once it is out in the open, you truly believe it, whether or not you would have changed your mind about it given new information later. You are set in your ways unintentionally by making your opinion known.
This being the case, I can't help but be reminded of Schrodinger's Cat. You don't know whether it is alive or dead until you look at it. Similarly, you don't know someone's opinion of something until they state it. It could be anything, but once they tell you, that's it. That's their opinion. Period. Some people don't like that your cat is still alive and so they will try their hardest to kill it, but it doesn't change the fact that it was alive. It was your opinion on the subject.
Before you talk to someone, you can have all the opinions you want, you can arrange your hand of cards in any way you wish. However, once you put your cards on the table, you can't change them again, that's cheating, right? Once you voice your opinion you can't easily change it again. You're stuck.
Why would you intentionally show your cards to someone and lock yourself into a certain way of being without provocation? Don't go around boasting about the opinions you hold without getting all the facts first. You can keep the cards and cat to yourself, but once someone else gets involved, you have to go all in.
Also they might kill your cat. There's some incentive.
Changing your opinion publicly is so much more difficult than changing it privately. You can think what you want and change intermittently based on any new information you gain. Once you make your opinion public, however, changing it publicly makes you seem like you don't know what you want or, even worse, what you are talking about in the first place.
Besides that, you want to be a consistent person. You want to know who you are and what you like and you probably don't like change. When you commit to something, you commit to it fully. Once it is out in the open, you truly believe it, whether or not you would have changed your mind about it given new information later. You are set in your ways unintentionally by making your opinion known.
This being the case, I can't help but be reminded of Schrodinger's Cat. You don't know whether it is alive or dead until you look at it. Similarly, you don't know someone's opinion of something until they state it. It could be anything, but once they tell you, that's it. That's their opinion. Period. Some people don't like that your cat is still alive and so they will try their hardest to kill it, but it doesn't change the fact that it was alive. It was your opinion on the subject.
Before you talk to someone, you can have all the opinions you want, you can arrange your hand of cards in any way you wish. However, once you put your cards on the table, you can't change them again, that's cheating, right? Once you voice your opinion you can't easily change it again. You're stuck.
Why would you intentionally show your cards to someone and lock yourself into a certain way of being without provocation? Don't go around boasting about the opinions you hold without getting all the facts first. You can keep the cards and cat to yourself, but once someone else gets involved, you have to go all in.
Also they might kill your cat. There's some incentive.
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